A Dad’s Perspective
What the Past 15 Months of Fatherhood Have Really Been Like
As it’s just been Father’s Day here in the UK, I wanted to share what the past 15 months have been like since becoming a dad for the first time. It’s not a highlight reel. It’s the real stuff — the highs, the struggles, and the lessons I’m still learning.
First off, Happy Father’s Day to any other dads reading this. It’s a role I didn’t fully understand until I was in it. You hear people say it’s the “greatest job in the world,” but no one really prepares you for what it actually involves — especially when you’re in the thick of it on no sleep.
For many of us, fatherhood comes without a guide. I know that’s true for me. My dad left when I was five. So when I became a dad, I didn’t have a blueprint to follow. I’ve had to figure it out in real time, and I imagine a lot of other new dads feel the same — no matter your background.
Learning to Be Adaptable (Whether You Like It or Not)
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is how important it is to be adaptable. It’s actually the word I chose to focus on at the start of this year — and with good reason.
I’m someone who loves structure. I like plans, I like routine, and I like knowing what’s coming next. But babies don’t follow structure. At least not at the start. Especially in those newborn months, it felt like every day was different. Sleep was unpredictable. Naps were short. Plans were cancelled or reshuffled. And I had to learn not to let that frustrate me.
Being adaptable has meant letting go of rigid expectations. I still make plans, but I hold them loosely. I’ve built in a few non-negotiables to keep myself grounded — more on those in a minute — but the rest, I try to go with the flow. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s helped.
The truth is, becoming a parent throws curveballs constantly. Some days you feel in control. Other days, you’re just trying to keep your head above water. The more I’ve let go of needing everything to go a certain way, the less pressure I’ve felt — on both myself and my family.
The Emotional Side No One Talks About Enough
Let’s talk about the emotions. Because they don’t get mentioned enough — especially for dads.
There have been moments of pure joy: the first smile, first steps, the feeling of a sleepy baby resting on your chest. Those moments make everything worth it.
But there have also been moments of complete exhaustion. Feeling like I’ve got nothing left in the tank but still needing to show up. Feeling overwhelmed. Doubting myself. Wondering if I’m doing enough, or doing it right. Those thoughts can creep in, especially when you're sleep-deprived and running on fumes.
I’ve found it helpful to name what I’m feeling — without trying to fix it right away. Just saying “this is hard today” or “I’m feeling burnt out” has been a relief in itself. Talking to Sair (my partner) and hearing she feels similar things has helped me realise we’re on the same team, even when it’s tough.
I’ve also learned that showing up emotionally for your child doesn’t mean having it all figured out. It just means being present. Being calm when you can. Repairing when you mess up. And being honest with yourself about how you're feeling.
Routines That Help Me Stay Grounded
Like I said earlier, I’ve built in a few non-negotiables — small things that keep me steady no matter how unpredictable the day feels. They’re not about perfection. They’re about consistency. And they’ve made a big difference in how I show up as a dad and partner.
Here’s what I try to stick to most days:
Get outside and walk — This helps me and the little one. If I can get us both out first thing, especially into daylight, it sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Hydration — I aim for a litre of water first thing and three litres across the day. I add electrolytes in the morning, which has helped with energy and focus.
Eat well — I try to limit processed food and sugar. I’ve learned the hard way that poor nutrition makes everything feel harder, especially when you're already sleep-deprived.
Manage my type 1 diabetes — This will always be part of my day. Staying on top of it helps everything else feel more manageable.
Meditation — I’ve restarted this in the past two months, and it’s been a game changer. It helps me pause before reacting, stay calm in chaos, and reset when things feel off.
Some days, I get all of this in. Other days, I don’t. But having a few anchors in place helps me feel more like myself.
What I’d Tell Myself 15 Months Ago
If I could go back and speak to myself the week my son was born, I’d say this:
You don’t need to be perfect.
You will get it wrong sometimes. That’s okay.
Your presence is more important than any plan.
Ask for help — and accept it when it’s offered.
Don’t underestimate the power of rest, movement, and food.
Your child doesn’t need a superhero. They just need you.
The past 15 months have been a rollercoaster — messy, beautiful, and full of moments I never want to forget. They’ve stretched me in ways I didn’t expect. They’ve made me more emotional, more patient, and more aware of what really matters.
I’m still figuring it out. I don’t think that ever stops. But I’m proud of the dad I’m becoming. And if you’re reading this as a new dad or an expectant one — you’ve got this too.
Final Thoughts
Being a new dad has changed everything — my mindset, my habits, and how I see the world. It’s challenged me to be more adaptable, to stay open, and to face my emotions head-on. And while it’s been hard at times, it’s also been the most meaningful experience of my life.
If you’ve made it this far — thanks for reading. I hope this gives you something real to relate to. Because the truth is, we’re all just doing our best. And that’s more than enough.